November 26th: Something Beautiful
I stop Ty in the hallway outside of his history class. “Meet me for coffee after school?”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“I need your help with something.”
He raises his eyebrows. “What?” he asks, walking backwards down the hallway.
“Getting Alice back!” I shout.
He grins at me over the sea of people, standing on his tip toes. “You are ridiculously obsessed,” he yells back.
“I know,” I reply, laughing. “Part of my charm.”
* * *
“Get three to go,” I instruct Ty, pushing him toward the front of the line.
He raises his eyebrows. “Three? To go?”
“Obviously your hearing is intact. Congratulations. Just do it. I’ll tell you later.”
He shrugs. Orders. We wait together. When the coffee comes, I pick up two of them and head for the door. He grabs his own and runs after me.
“Where are we going?” he asks, holding the door open for me.
I back through it and start for the car. “I’m going to sit in the car while you bring Alice coffee.”
He stares at me incredulously. “I am?”
“Room five seventeen. Don’t fuck this up.” I stick the cups in the drink holder and step on the gas.
* * *
“And then she shot me this look and went, ‘That’s sweet. Where’s X?’ ”
I grin. “What did you say?”
“I told her you were in the car. And she was like, ‘I told him to leave me alone’.”
“And you told her....”
“That you had a stalker girlfriend once and she taught you a few tricks.”
I smile. “And what did she say to that?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “She looked like she was trying not to smile.”
“And?”
“And then she said there was no way to drink coffee while she was laying down, but when the nurses came in she would seduce the cute male one with dimples into moving her.” He rolls his eyes.
I laugh. “She could seduce a cardboard box. She’ll be fine.”
“She told me to tell you that it’s going to take a lot more than coffee and roses to get her back.”
“What did you say to that?”
“I told her you probably had a lot more planned.”
I nod. “I do. But for now, I’m giving her space.”
He raises his eyebrows. “I thought you were trying to win her back.”
“I bought her coffee and roses. But she said she wanted time to think, so I’m going to give her that much.”
He stares at me.
“Her mother told me when I called last night that Alice gets out in a couple of days. They’ve done a couple skin transplants to the worse areas and she’ll be coming home by Sunday.”
“And?”
“And when she gets out, I’m going to do something big.”
He bites his lip. “And you’re sure this is going to work?”
“I’m pretty sure,” I say quietly, nodding. “I’m pretty damn sure.”
* * *
I bite my lip. “Mamá? Can we talk?”
She stares at me. There’s more hurt in her eyes than I’ve ever seen, and when she speaks, she sounds bitter. “You get another girl pregnant, Xavier? You have sex with more?”
“Mamá, please.” I pat the cushion next to me. “I need to talk to you.”
My mother eyes me warily, but she sits down.
“Look, this whole situation is complicated. And you’re going to be upset with me. And even more upset... With everything.” I sigh. “But I need you to know this. I can’t... I can’t just tell stories forever.”
She stares at her ragged, week-old manicure. “Yes, mí amor?”
“I’m not the father.” I start with that. It’s the easiest.
Mamá’s eyes light up.
“But I knew that. The whole time. She... She asked me to cover for her. Asked me... To marry her.” I take a deep breath. “And I said yes.”
Her gaze dims.
“We were going to get married, and raise the baby, and it was going to work out.” I shrug. “And then I... I messed around with another girl.” I see her look. “She’s not pregnant! Jesus, Mamá!” I sigh. “Look, Alice got really mad. She tried to kill herself.”
“Oh no,” my mother gasps. “Mí amor, that is terrible!”
I nod. “Yeah. She’s okay. I guess. She’s in the hospital but... She’s going to be okay. And so is the baby. But... She’s still angry.”
My mother grins. “But you do not have to marry her! She does not want you for to marry her! You can go to college, you can have future...”
“Mamá, please,” I interrupt. “I still want... To marry her. I really want that. I’m trying to get her back.”
Her shoulders slump, her smile collapsing. “But you have so many chances... So many opportunities.”
I sigh, exasperated. “Mamá, that’s not what I want, okay?” I say stiffly. “You think it would make me happy? To leave my best friend pregnant and alone?” I shake my head. “That’s the kind of son you’d be proud of, huh? The selfish kind? The kind who only cares about himself?”
“I just want you for to do well!” she exclaims. The tears rush to her eyes.
I look away. “And I know that, Mamá, but...” I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “I just want to be able to be proud of myself.”
Her hand is on my cheek. Soft, worn. The hands that rocked a bricklayer’s son to sleep, that spoon fed him applesauce, that always healed better than a bandage, that scrubbed floors till their fingertips were raw so that he could have shoes. I turn. Her eyes are glistening, a few teardrops already flowing freely down her cheeks.
She cradles my cheek in the palm of her hand. “You are a man, now.”
I grab her other hand, clasping it between my own. “I know.”
She smiles at me sadly, caresses my cheek a final time before pulling her weathered fingertips away. “You are a damned fool,” she whispers, laughing softly. I bite back a smile. “But you are a man.”
I massage her fingers. “How does a man convince a woman that he’s sorry?” I ask her softly.
Mamá laughs for a moment, then pulls her hand away from my grasp, resting it on my knee. “Alice will forgive you, Xavier.”
“I hope so.”
“She will,” she assures me. “That is what people do, when they...” She stops, smiling cryptically.
“When they...” I prompt.
She looks down at her hand, still on my knee, and slowly moves it away. “When they are in love, mí amor.” She bites her lip. “That is what they do when they are in love.”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“I need your help with something.”
He raises his eyebrows. “What?” he asks, walking backwards down the hallway.
“Getting Alice back!” I shout.
He grins at me over the sea of people, standing on his tip toes. “You are ridiculously obsessed,” he yells back.
“I know,” I reply, laughing. “Part of my charm.”
“Get three to go,” I instruct Ty, pushing him toward the front of the line.
He raises his eyebrows. “Three? To go?”
“Obviously your hearing is intact. Congratulations. Just do it. I’ll tell you later.”
He shrugs. Orders. We wait together. When the coffee comes, I pick up two of them and head for the door. He grabs his own and runs after me.
“Where are we going?” he asks, holding the door open for me.
I back through it and start for the car. “I’m going to sit in the car while you bring Alice coffee.”
He stares at me incredulously. “I am?”
“Room five seventeen. Don’t fuck this up.” I stick the cups in the drink holder and step on the gas.
“And then she shot me this look and went, ‘That’s sweet. Where’s X?’ ”
I grin. “What did you say?”
“I told her you were in the car. And she was like, ‘I told him to leave me alone’.”
“And you told her....”
“That you had a stalker girlfriend once and she taught you a few tricks.”
I smile. “And what did she say to that?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “She looked like she was trying not to smile.”
“And?”
“And then she said there was no way to drink coffee while she was laying down, but when the nurses came in she would seduce the cute male one with dimples into moving her.” He rolls his eyes.
I laugh. “She could seduce a cardboard box. She’ll be fine.”
“She told me to tell you that it’s going to take a lot more than coffee and roses to get her back.”
“What did you say to that?”
“I told her you probably had a lot more planned.”
I nod. “I do. But for now, I’m giving her space.”
He raises his eyebrows. “I thought you were trying to win her back.”
“I bought her coffee and roses. But she said she wanted time to think, so I’m going to give her that much.”
He stares at me.
“Her mother told me when I called last night that Alice gets out in a couple of days. They’ve done a couple skin transplants to the worse areas and she’ll be coming home by Sunday.”
“And?”
“And when she gets out, I’m going to do something big.”
He bites his lip. “And you’re sure this is going to work?”
“I’m pretty sure,” I say quietly, nodding. “I’m pretty damn sure.”
I bite my lip. “Mamá? Can we talk?”
She stares at me. There’s more hurt in her eyes than I’ve ever seen, and when she speaks, she sounds bitter. “You get another girl pregnant, Xavier? You have sex with more?”
“Mamá, please.” I pat the cushion next to me. “I need to talk to you.”
My mother eyes me warily, but she sits down.
“Look, this whole situation is complicated. And you’re going to be upset with me. And even more upset... With everything.” I sigh. “But I need you to know this. I can’t... I can’t just tell stories forever.”
She stares at her ragged, week-old manicure. “Yes, mí amor?”
“I’m not the father.” I start with that. It’s the easiest.
Mamá’s eyes light up.
“But I knew that. The whole time. She... She asked me to cover for her. Asked me... To marry her.” I take a deep breath. “And I said yes.”
Her gaze dims.
“We were going to get married, and raise the baby, and it was going to work out.” I shrug. “And then I... I messed around with another girl.” I see her look. “She’s not pregnant! Jesus, Mamá!” I sigh. “Look, Alice got really mad. She tried to kill herself.”
“Oh no,” my mother gasps. “Mí amor, that is terrible!”
I nod. “Yeah. She’s okay. I guess. She’s in the hospital but... She’s going to be okay. And so is the baby. But... She’s still angry.”
My mother grins. “But you do not have to marry her! She does not want you for to marry her! You can go to college, you can have future...”
“Mamá, please,” I interrupt. “I still want... To marry her. I really want that. I’m trying to get her back.”
Her shoulders slump, her smile collapsing. “But you have so many chances... So many opportunities.”
I sigh, exasperated. “Mamá, that’s not what I want, okay?” I say stiffly. “You think it would make me happy? To leave my best friend pregnant and alone?” I shake my head. “That’s the kind of son you’d be proud of, huh? The selfish kind? The kind who only cares about himself?”
“I just want you for to do well!” she exclaims. The tears rush to her eyes.
I look away. “And I know that, Mamá, but...” I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “I just want to be able to be proud of myself.”
Her hand is on my cheek. Soft, worn. The hands that rocked a bricklayer’s son to sleep, that spoon fed him applesauce, that always healed better than a bandage, that scrubbed floors till their fingertips were raw so that he could have shoes. I turn. Her eyes are glistening, a few teardrops already flowing freely down her cheeks.
She cradles my cheek in the palm of her hand. “You are a man, now.”
I grab her other hand, clasping it between my own. “I know.”
She smiles at me sadly, caresses my cheek a final time before pulling her weathered fingertips away. “You are a damned fool,” she whispers, laughing softly. I bite back a smile. “But you are a man.”
I massage her fingers. “How does a man convince a woman that he’s sorry?” I ask her softly.
Mamá laughs for a moment, then pulls her hand away from my grasp, resting it on my knee. “Alice will forgive you, Xavier.”
“I hope so.”
“She will,” she assures me. “That is what people do, when they...” She stops, smiling cryptically.
“When they...” I prompt.
She looks down at her hand, still on my knee, and slowly moves it away. “When they are in love, mí amor.” She bites her lip. “That is what they do when they are in love.”
posted by Angel at 3:13 PM
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