November 17th: Feeling Way Too Damn Good

Remember Amy? My ex?

Of course I remember Amy. How could you forget that bitch? You found her LOOKING IN YOUR WINDOWS.

I roll my eyes. I know. But I think she’s actually getting better, somewhat. With the whole clingy-ness thing. She called the other night.

Alice shoots me a look. Good for you.

She’s moving back.

She glares at me. That chick is OUT OF HER MIND. Does she not realize that everyone here hates her?

I never really understood that.

Alice rolls her eyes. Are you deaf? After you broke up with her... Have you really not heard this already?????

I throw my hands up and scribble, I wanted as little to do Do I look like Just TELL ME!!!!!

She found a new boyfriend, and they got serious, I guess. Anyway, she told him she was taking birth control, and she wasn’t.

Did she get pregnant? I shoot her a strange look.

Alice nods. She told him she was going to have a kid, and he said he’d marry her. She went out of town to visit an aunt like, two months into it and she miscarried.

And everyone is mad at her because she had an underdeveloped uterus????

Alice gives me a strange look. Don’t you get it? She didn’t tell him she miscarried. Both of them dropped out of school and they got married.

Didn’t he kind of notice that there wasn’t a kid?

Yeah, and they got divorced, but it was his senior year........ He’d already lost all his football glory and a couple of scholarships, and he would have to repeat the year anyway.

I stare at her. She really did that? Why didn’t she just TELL him?

She rolls her eyes impatiently. It’s AMY. She’s the clingiest person ever.

That’s so weird. I never knew.

I’m surprised you didn’t. I could’ve sworn I told you.

I shake my head. ... I bet he was on the list.

What list????

Long story. God. That sucks. That must be what Ty was talking about.... Jesus. How did I not know this?

She shrugs. Maybe it’s good that you didn’t know. You probably would have Never mind.

What? Just write it.

You probably would have gotten way too messed up with it. You know how you are. Mr. Helper.

I glare at her. Gee, thanks.

She smiles. No, that’s a good thing. You’re good that way. It works.

It works better for everybody else.

Alice laughs. You know you’re not fooling anybody pretending you don’t like it, don’t you?

I grin. Yeah. But I can try.

* * *

“It just occurred to me,” I say, sipping my coffee, “that I hate coffee.”

“You’ve been guzzling it like crazy this past week or so,” Ty remarks, cradling his own cup in his hands. “Stressed much?”

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, but one of my best friends’ boyfriends was stabbed, I’m going to be a father, my little brother who isn’t really my little brother raped a girl, and noone in town bothered to tell me that Amy trapped some poor dude into marrying her.”

Ty smiles sheepishly. “Totally, totally meant to tell you that.”

“You’re totally, totally retarded.” I set my cup down. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me? For real.”

He shrugs. “I was always under the impression that the less you heard about Amy, the better. She scared the crap out of you, X. You had to threaten a restraining order to get her to leave you alone.”

I sigh. “Yeah, but I wish you’d have updated me on the common knowledge.” I take a huge gulp of coffee. “I still can’t believe she would do that. I mean, that’s so Amy, but... It’s still surprising, you know?”

Ty gives me a sympathetic look and nods. “Look, don’t worry about her, okay? So she’s moving back. Doesn’t mean you have to talk to her, or run into her, or think about her. Just go about your life. I think you’ve got enough shit going on, without any Amy-drama.”

“Yeah, I have Alice-drama.” I groan, laying my head on the table. “Life blows, Tyler Graham. Life just fucking blows.”

“Have you told your mother yet?”

I moan. “Shut up.”

“You haven’t?” he asks, his voice disbelieving.

“She’s never home.” I pick my head up and shrug. “Mari knows. Manuel knows. You know. Alice knows. That’s it, I think. Oh, and I guess Cabana knows... Soon the whole town will know... Soon the whole world will know...” I groan and lay my head on my arms again.

“Your life sucks, dude. And that’s coming from the guy who’s father is threatening to kick him out and who’s boyfriend got stabbed.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

“Want to go visit Garrett? He’s sick of seeing my ugly face. And you could use some random guy talk. Lots of beer and belching and tasteless jokes, and maybe some sports stats.”

I groan. “Just my luck. I thought I would finally get to talk about shopping and skin care.”

“Someone’s been watching Queer Eye,” he laughs.

“I dabble.”

He rolls his eyes and pushes open the door. “After you, madame.”

* * *

“Ty... And X! And I thought the return of the green gelatin would be the highlight of my day.”

I roll my eyes. “Sorry I ran out of here so quick yesterday. Just felt like you two needed some time.”

Garrett waves his hand and shrugs. “No big shit.” He props himself up on his elbows and flips off the television. “But Ty’s been updating me on your personal soap opera. There’s definitely a lot of big shit there.”

I sigh. “Yeah. Things suck, you know? But I’ll be okay.”

“His stalker ex is moving back to town,” Ty remarks. “You remember Amy?”

“Amy... Jensen?” His eyes widen. “Oh my god, do you remember what...” He shuts his mouth abruptly and raises his eyebrows. “Wow. Wouldn’t have pegged you as the... Amy type.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not. Which is why I broke up with her. Which is why she was with this guy, and got hot and heavy, and... You know the rest.”

“That woman is crazy,” he says, whistling softly. “Jesus.”

I nod. “She stalked me for awhile, actually. Not stalked really... I don’t know.”

“Stalked,” Ty says from the corner. “You had it right the first time.”

Garrett raises his eyebrows.

“He broke up with her, and she got freaky. She’d always been crazy but... She was calling his house ten times a day, crying on his answering machine, leaving notes in his locker...” Ty shakes his head. “Then one day she followed him home and hid in his bushes or something. He caught her looking in his window at like, eleven o’clock.”

Garrett snorts. “Wow. And this psychotic chick is moving back here, you say?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “She’s evidently in Co-dependents Anonymous, because she did the clingy thing with her new boyfriend, too... She called me for step nine and told me she was moving back.”

He exchanges a glance with Ty. “Like we don’t have enough crazy, unpredictable people around here.”

I sigh. “She’s not that bad... Really. She’s nice. She just has no idea how to let go.”

“She stalked you, she caused some other guy to lose his entire life.... In my part of the world, we call that crazy.” He rolls his eyes. “I’d think you would believe that more than anyone else, after what Ty just told me.”

I shrug. “Yeah, maybe. But I loved her once, too. She’s really great, sometimes. Just... Too intense.”

“Women,” he remarks, rolling his eyes. “Crazy specimens.”

Ty laughs. “Dude, I caught you watching The Young and the Restless. You’re probably the craziest person I know.”

“Hey, there is a very intense love triangle going on right now!” Garrett says, grinning.

Ty rolls his eyes. “You are so weird, dude.”

“You love me,” Garrett replies, laughing. “You absolutely fucking love me.”

“Eh,” Ty shrugs. “Maybe.”

“You guys are too precious,” I say drily.

Ty laughs. “I know. I’m adorable.” He shrugs, glancing at Garrett. “And I guess he’s not so ugly, from certain angles...”

“Asswipe,” Garrett says, pegging him with an apple core. “I will break into a Christina Aguilera, if you make me.”

Ty groans and feigns heaving, but he’s laughing too hard to pull it off.

I can’t remember the last time I felt this okay.